Nottingham Forest’s Jesse Lingard says he turned to drink “to try and ease the pain”, as he struggled to cope with his Manchester United career.
Speaking on The Diary Of A CEO podcast, he recalled fan “abuse” and his treatment at Old Trafford.
“I needed something to try to ease the pain,” he said.
“And make myself comfortable somehow. I was drinking before bed, having one last drink.
“I look back now and think, ‘why did I do that?’ I was trying to forget what was going on. But it makes things 10 times worse.”
The England international also opened up about his mother’s battle with depression, which saw him caring for younger siblings Jasper and Daisy-Boo, when she was admitted to hospital for a treatment in 2019.
“The depression was so bad she couldn’t really cope and she needed to go and get help,” he added.
“But leaving me with my little sister who was 11 at the time, and my little brother who was 15, for me, I was still going through my own stuff too.
“So I wasn’t really the big brother they wanted at the time. I just wasn’t there mentally.”
The attacking midfielder said he confided in then-United manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer about the abuse from fans and the personal issues he was having. He said Solskjaer ‘helped’ during a tough time in his career.
“Being abused like that flipped him,” Lingard said. “I didn’t want to be on the pitch, I didn’t want to play.
“I didn’t want to quit football. I would never have quit football, but I needed a break.
“We kept a close bond, but even just for Ole to say, ‘How is your mum? How is she?’ helped let people know what I was going through.”
“Happiness is more important to me”
After 22 years at Old Trafford, Lingard joined Forest on a free transfer.
He made 22 appearances for United in his final season, but only four of those were starts.
“People probably thought I was happy to go, but I had to go,” he said. “I wasn’t playing.
“I was offered a contract, but what’s the point? I wasn’t going to play. Yes, it’s the biggest club in the world, but happiness is more important to me.”
Speaking about why he chose to sign for Steve Cooper’s Forest rather than West Ham – with whom he had previously enjoyed a successful loan spell – he said: “I think they showed the love They showed the will and the thirst to want me.
“Things fell apart at West Ham, which I can’t get into too much, but Nottingham showed a lot more love than West Ham.
“Nottingham was like we love you, we want you, the manager will come to your house, the owner wants to take you to Greece to sign the deal.
“For me it was a new challenge, a different challenge. A newly promoted team and all I’ve known is United all my life.”
But it was the way he left United that disappointed him and his family the most.
“I didn’t really get kicked out,” Lingard explained. “I was there for so long and I think I deserved one.
“I’ve been there all my life and I know everyone at the club, from the staff to the equipment men to the dinner ladies. This has been my life.”
Lingard has made 14 appearances for Forest this season, with the club 13th in the Premier League on 20 points.
Asked if he had lost respect for United over time, Lingard replied: “Probably, yes. No balance, no structure, people do what they want. It was as a free game for all.
“They’re so behind on everything. You see the facilities at (Manchester) City, the facilities at Tottenham. People are miles ahead. Even socially.”
